I am PROCRASTINATING.....................
BLAH.

I finally got jump started to do another drawing. You can see it there to the left as the featured artwork.

Otherwise, life has been.... Meh. :/ Hopefully things will get better.

So. Some things have happened over the course of a couple of months.

Mookie and I have been alright nowadays. We had a real rough patch for a long time. Ever since we hit about 2 years into our relationship, it's been really rocky, but things are seeming to smooth out. Mainly let's just say some experiences made me realize that I really really loved him (in time for Valentine's Day too!). So our Valentine's this year was wonderfully nice. :3

And I got flowers!

In school, I've been feeling a lot less included and unwanted. I really can't wait for college now - and speaking of that, I've pretty much set myself on going to Columbia College of Chicago as it's a college that seems to be everything I want. I really can't wait now... It just seems that if anything, even if I can't find a niche, I'll be somewhere where I'm able to do what I want and go to the places I really love - museums and libraries. Also, in school, I've been finding it really hard to focus and keep myself going. I think I really need someone to push me to do my homework and all that jazz. I've been trying to push myself, don't worry. xP

So yeah.

Future-wise, I am setting myself on being an English professor, most probably focusing on creative writing. I've been not worrying so much about college nowadays, and that's been helpful. I've been thinking about it, and I think that I would be the type of person that would also just be content being a housewife. Sorta. Like, if I think about just being at home all day and cooking and stuff for Mookie, I'm pretty darn content. Add a child, and then it gets tedious for me. >->; So yeah. It's been interesting. I think the fact that Mookie could probably support us on his own has sprung that possibility into my head and made it something serious. But I of course, always slap myself out of it, and want, really, to live in a loft with him in Chicago or Seattle. :3 But bah, I'm being all sentimental.

I've gone back to writing and reading more. Or at least trying :/ I've been trying to get an idea for a story, and I have one forming, so we'll see. I really want to go back to writing. It's just been really hard due to writer's block and so much stuff in the way.

Finally, NIN. Of course, of course. I left it for last, so anyone not wanting to read can skip this section. :3

So, Trent recently announced that he's making "NIN disappear for a while." So that has me really sad. But it could also be really good, because it has motivated me to write a long letter explaining my love for him, and how I look up to him, and hopefully being able to deliver it at the last Cleveland area show (which will probably be at Blossom which is wonderful). I don't really care what he does with it or if he even reads it, but it means a lot to me to explain myself to him. I mean, he /might/ remember waving to that ecstatically waving girl at the end of the Cleveland LITS show. *shrugs* Highly unlikely, I know, but I was acknowledged for a second. :3

To all the people that think I have this unhealthy, random obsession with a soon to be 44 year old man, it is that, but it's much more. I love Trent, yeah, I do. Like, if he were to ask me out, I would honestly probably say yes and leave Mookie. Saddening, I know. But I would. I love the dude. But also, Trent is a person I very much look up to as a role model and it's hard to explain why. The guy was on drugs, he swears, he drinks, and he's a lot of brawn. These things shouldn't attract me, and they probably wouldn't if it wasn't made up by his intellectual drive, and artistic vision. As an artist, he's very much a person I look up to, and I love him especially for his mind. So all of you guys making fun of me, LAY OFF! xD

So he's taking a break for awhile, and I think it's time to give him a very stalker-y letter as a way of "waving goodbye."

*cries* :'(

Anyway. I've been listening to 28 Ghosts IV, which is a very sad, but wonderful instrumental, and I think if anyone's gonna listen to instrumentals, Ghosts is what you need (unless it's Lunar. xP). It seems to have affected how I've been thinking, as I've been really depressed today. Overall, I've been more emotional lately towards things. Makes for sucky depression. :/ I think I need to get out into the sun.

Oh yeah. I've had bronchitis for the past week or so. Sucks. You never want to get it.

I ish plotting sneaky things. :3

And my birthday is coming up! And I dunno what to do, and what I want.

Well...

I WANT TRENT REZNOR.
But that won't happen because my friends and family epic fail.

Anywho. School has begun, and I'm having a blast. Drama has been full of drama as usual. Go to my facebook to see piccys of the Lights In the Sky over Cleveland concert (I WAS 30 FEET AWAY FROM GOD!!!! AND HE ACKNOWLEDGED MY EXISTENCE!).

So I don't know what I'm going to do... :/

Probably a sleepover/party type of deal. xP

But yeah. I uploaded stuffz!
<-
DDD So I ish good. :3 Yeah.

TRENT ACKNOWLEDGED MY EXISTENCE.
He waved at me as he was walking off stage. I wanted to cry. And I got a poster, a 1,000,000 jacket with Nine Inch Nails on its back collar, and an unopened bottle of water that was Trent's!!!!! DDDDD *happies all over place *

So yeah. I loved it. The visuals were killer and blew everyone away. Ah... Such an amazing last week. xP We went camping, played tennis, had a party, went to a concert, and went to a museum (Mookie and I. The camping trip was with Hotoami and her older brother who happens to be a friend of Mookie's, so it was a circle of friends. xD).

Yeah.

Happy birthday to me.

I have had too much caffeine and sugar. x_x

that Trent Reznor takes Mookie and my NIN virginity. I am flipping out.

*runs around squealing*